A Testimony...

Yeah... I haven't written a new post in ages.  But I feel the need to begin documenting the challenges, combined with blessings, that our family has been experiencing lately.  Besides, I have to rest in bed all day, so what else am I going to do?  ;) 

As you know, we are happily expecting the arrival of baby Hoehne número tres.  I am only 10 weeks along, but in that short time, I have already experienced some complications with my pregnancy.  I found out I was pregnant on my birthday, (How cool is that??  Best birthday gift ever!) but a week later I began spotting.  I had to go to UVRMC twice-- for bloodwork, a rhogam shot, and more follow-up bloodwork.  I had low hormone levels and was put on progesterone pills, but a week later I had an ultrasound to confirm that all was well with baby H.  Not to mention that Jonathan gave me a Priesthood blessing in which I was promised that I would continue to be pregnant.  This was all a very spiritually edifying experience for me... one that brought me closer to the Spirit and closer to Jonathan.

Then I got ornery.

The progesterone pills have made me sick as can be.  Not to mention extra-special moody.  In many ways, I have been an impatient, ornery little wife.  Perhaps intolerant towards people in general- seeing as how I've been using the phrase "People are stupid" a lot lately.  Maybe I needed to be brought again to a remembrance of what really matters and remain unfettered by the petty complaints that so easily creep into my consciousness.  Today, I began bleeding.  I have had periodic spotting throughout my pregnancy, but no cause for real alarm.  Today, however, the bleeding was heavier.  I immediately called Jonathan in to ask for a blessing.... I found immediate comfort in the promise that my "body will take care of itself and continue to protect this baby."  I was promised that the baby will continue to grow and develop without any problems.  I was blessed to have faith, to let not my heart be troubled.... and reminded of the connection I have to this unborn child through promises made in the temple.

This would all be comfort enough, but I also sought solace in the scriptures.  In times of distress, I like to use the flip-open method ;)  I always know that I will flip open to exactly the page and place that I need to read.  Today, that was Doctrine & Covenants 11:10-14...

10 Behold, thou hast a gift, or thou shalt have a gift if thou wilt desire of me in faith, with an  honest heart, believing in the power of Jesus Christ, or in my power which speaketh unto thee;

11 For, behold, it is I that speak; behold, I am the light which shineth in darkness, and by my power I give these words unto thee.

12 And now, verily, verily, I say unto thee, put your trust in that Spirit which leadeth to do good—yea, to do justly, to walk humbly, to judge righteously; and this is my Spirit.

13 Verily, verily, I say unto you, I will impart unto you of my Spirit, which shall enlighten your mind, which shall fill your soul with joy;

14 And then shall ye know, or by this shall you know, all things whatsoever you desire of me, which are pertaining unto things of righteousness, in faith believing in me that you shall receive.

Writing about this is more for my benefit than anyone else's, I'm sure... but I wanted to share my experience with whoever may read this.  Not long ago, an agnostic friend posted a comment on Facebook about the need to be freed from the "hubris" of religion, claiming that religion hinders us from experiencing our full potential.  I find such claims to be so... backwards.  I feel I am never even close to experiencing my full potential unless I am seeking the spiritual.  And without it, I certainly would never be able to handle the challenges that arise in this life.  In particular, I am grateful for the divine power of the scriptures and the Priesthood.  The promises I receive from them help me journey closer to my full potential and help me deal with the challenges along that journey. 

I still have my anxieties about this pregnancy... but I also feel hope in the promises I have received and know that, no matter what happens, Baby Hoehne is connected to me and mine forever.