The Trial That Will Make Me Stronger...

In more ways than one.

I am referring to the knee surgery I had this past Tuesday. I have genetically misaligned knees that have caused me a great deal of pain the last several years. My orthopedic surgeon strongly recommended surgery; a knee scope & lateral release. The knee scope helps alleviate arthritis by clearing out small pieces of broken cartilage and tissue in the knee joint that the misaligned patella rubs over on a regular basis. The lateral release is a procedure that involves cutting the ligaments in the knee; this release in pressure allows the kneecap to sit properly within its groove (and not be misaligned).

So, though it will be a trial in many ways, this procedure will help my knee get stronger. But Monday night, I learned that the procedure itself is not the only way I will be strengthened.

Because I had many anxious concerns about the surgery, I received a Priesthood blessing the night before. In the blessing, I was told that this surgery would be a greater trial than I had anticipated. It would be difficult, but I would grow in many ways & eventually overcome and be able to do "all those things." Well. Not quite what I was expecting to hear. But the words of that blessing are already coming to pass.

When I left the hospital Tuesday evening, I was feeling totally loopy, nauseated by the medication, and generally just out of it... but I was not in any pain. I was advised to take my pain medication on a regular schedule, even if I was not feeling pain, but because I was not in any pain, I did not take any more Percocet until a full 24 hours later- just before bedtime. Stupid, stupid me. When I woke up this morning, I definitely felt the pain, and the pain has progressively gotten worse over the course of the day. In fact, that is why I have been blogging in the wee hours of the night... I could not fall asleep for the discomfort I have been experiencing. During the day, for small time intervals only, I am supposed to try bearing weight on the affected leg, but much of the time, I am not able to do so.

I am also in a knee brace that cannot come off until later this evening (72 hours total). The chambers of the brace fill with cold liquid that is pumped from a cooler (full of ice and water) to keep my knee iced around the clock. When I get up to use the restroom or simply move around a little bit, the tubing trails behind me and I either trip on it or get my crutches caught in it. Little things like that cause my knee to hurt even more and frustrate the heck out of me! Lastly, I am not able to shower or wash my hair... which anyone can agree does NOT help in the "feel good" department!!

On the other hand, there is so much to be grateful for about my surgery. I am grateful that I was able to have it, period. For many years, I have been restricted to certain athletic activities, but over time, those limitations have been narrowing further. If I heal properly, I will have the capacity to participate in a variety of sports. I specifically look forward to running!

I am also so grateful for everyone who has had any part in making this surgery possible. One main concern Jono and I had about this surgery was the cost. We felt strongly I should have the surgery, but were unsure how we were going to pay for it. I am grateful that the means to do so presented itself, though in an unlikely way.

Let me explain. Mormons, of course, do not believe in gambling. But my Grandpop Frank is not a Mormon. And a modest amount of responsible gambling is an outlet for him. So a couple of times a month, my mom drives him to the Hard Rock Casino. Even though she just watches, my mom and my grandpa are able to spend valuable time together. And two weeks ago, it was valuable time- literally! Grandpop won a sizable amount at the slots. And he gave my mom half of it. My mom told me later, "I knew this money was meant for you- to help pay for your surgery." When she told me that, I broke down crying (these are the tears I was referring to in my conference post). I am so grateful that my parents would think of me in that moment. No matter the origin, the money Jono & I received was a great blessing and an answer to our prayers.

I am also grateful for people being so thoughtful and sensitive to my needs. Today, just when my spirits were reaching a low point, I received a care package from Ryan, Tina, and the kids. In addition to a homemade card and change purse (courtesy of Samara), there was a movie, a book of brain teasers, and some yummy treats to help keep me occupied during my recovery.

I was also blessed to have Joanne watch Keyan not only the day of my surgery, but also the day after so that I could rest (and rest I did! I slept 14 hours!). Then, next week, Tiffany has offered to watch Keyan and I will also be receiving help from Holly. Such help is priceless to me! Thank you to each of you.

Finally, I have to thank Jonathan. He has been AWESOME! He has been my gopher- getting me blankets, pillows, and movies. He's even made ice runs at 4am (twice) because we ran out of ice for my cooler. He's been my pharmacist- bringing me my medicine and a glass of water whenever it's time for the next dose. And he's been my chef- keeping me nourished with yummy food... like these enchiladas!

It's wonderful having someone take care of you simply because they love you. That is certainly one aspect of surgery that will make me stronger. And there are many more ways I have yet to discover!